Two years ago, we landed in Singapore as expats. We had no idea that our experience would impact the minds of those left behind as well. But when they visited, they basked in the rich culture of Singapore and took advantage of the proximity and ease of travel to the diverse countries around us.
This past February, my parents came for their annual trip over Chinese New Year, a propitious time to be with family. My growing spirit of adventure called and the warm beaches and clear skies of Vietnam seemed to be the answer. I was eager to spend this time of renewal and reflection with my parents. However, for me to look forward would require my father to revisit his past…something he had never wanted to do.
My father was drafted into the U.S. Army and was deployed to fight in the Vietnam War in 1969. He was stationed in the hills of Da Lat where he fulfilled his responsibilities and was lucky enough to return home to his wife and one-year-old son.
Although it wasn’t during Chinese New Year, his homecoming was a welcomed rebirth; a time to focus on family and a chance to look forward to prosperity and happiness. Like many servicemen, he concentrated on putting down roots to provide stability for his family and in turn, suppressed the harrowing memories of jungles, fatigues and MREs.
Understandably, my father had resisted reflecting on his time in Vietnam. But thanks to serendipity, the yin and yang of life, and most importantly, my father’s willingness to open his mind, we returned to the country he had so desperately tried to forget. 49 years after he left, we headed back.
We opted for the beach in Da Nang where he had spent time during the war. He remembered the endless beautiful beaches, the simple round fishing boats that glide through the shallow coastline, and those steep rock mountains that emerge from the earth without warning. He recalled memories prompted by vistas so similar, and yet so different, from years ago.
Where I saw picturesque terraces and vibrant green stalks, my father saw only muddy waters where danger lurked. He recollected moving his tent after lights went out to avoid being killed by embedded Vietcong and of a bomb destroying his camp.
Previously, he had rarely spoken of Vietnam. The stories didn’t compliment the suburban utopia he had carefully crafted for us. Yet, being back on those shores unlocked stories and released them where they belonged. And in turn, my father saw a nation’s people that had fared much better than he had feared.
As expats, we often struggle being away from loved ones. This trip to Vietnam shares how our experiences can help benefit those who are not able to live abroad with us. We can open portals to other times and other places by easing the access to locations and experiences which would seem geographically unattainable if it weren’t for our expat existence in Singapore.
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This story was originally published in Bamboo Telegraph by Laura Spencer Dahan.